How I learned to do what I do

I was born to activist parents; with both of my parents devoting their lives to the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa. I was born into a community of changemakers; people who care about the world and have the bravery and heart to put that care into action. I was also raised by a very spiritual mother, and was connected to the importance of doing the inner work that supports the outer work from a very young age.

I read all about love by bell hooks in 2018 which changed my life. At the same time I started learning about attachment theory and how unhealed childhood patterns show up in our adult relationships. I graduated with a degree in African History from Mount Holyoke College in 2020, and shortly - in the midst of a deep dark night of the soul that involved a psychiatric ward and a bipolar diagnosis - after enrolled in the core training with the Somatica Institute. I went on to take their advanced practitioner training, as well as serve as a group leader for new practitioners in training, and attend their character strategies training twice. All of this has supported me to be the somatic practitioner, and sex and relationship coach, that I am. I learned about my own ways of being in relationship, and learned to be with others and their more compassionately.

At the same time, I enrolled in a 6-month ancestral lineage healing course with a sangoma in South Africa. She later became my gobela, and I thwasa’d (went through a traditional process of initiation) for 7 months. The work that I did in that time, and the subsequent years of ancestral practice, dreamwork, and lineage healing are foundational for how I view the people I work with today; as whole selves, and also as conglomerations of ancestral stories, traumas and gifts.

I officially opened my online practice in 2022, and since then I have worked with hundreds of people from all over the world.

My clients and students have also been my greatest teachers. It is in this relational space, in the meeting of nervous systems, and in the mutual vulnerability of being together, that I have learned to hold honour, reverence, and celebration for the wholeness of the human story. I believe that all parts of us are holy and without shame. I invite you into being witnessed in this way by me, and learning to turn this compassionate gaze inward.

While there have been many other teachers and trainings on the path, these are some of the most significant threads that I weave into my work. Getting my BA in African History, and being born to the lineage I was born into has taught me the importance of decolonization. My ancestors have taught me that too. Working with Carolyn has taught me that magick is real, and somatics has taught me how to ground transformation in this body. Black Feminist writers like bell hooks and Audre Lorde have informed my politics and views on love, the erotic, and liberation.

Finally, I wouldn’t be the magickian that I am today without the mentorship of Carolyn Lovewell. I first read Existential Kink in 2021, and went down a rabbithole into the Carolyn-verse. Carolyn Lovewell is one of the world’s foremost experts on shadow integration. Through her, I was introduced to the works of Jung, Crowley, and other magickians who have shaped my path. I underwent a 9 month initiation with her through her Sleepover Mystery School, as well as trained with her in how to offer ritual.

“Tumi’s energy feels like a magic mirror, a fairy godparent, a spirit guide, a familiar.”

I felt accepted, welcomed, cared for. I didn’t feel judged or condescended to at all. I left each session feeling more courageous, more able to breathe, and more expressive… more myself. more free. I am still absorbing things we talked about, and I think I will be for a very long time. (in the best way) It feels like a gift that I will cherish forever.

JESSE — DREAM-WITCH, ARTIST, TRAUMA-INFORMED TAROT READER

WHAT I CARE ABOUT

01.

RADICAL DESHAMIFYING

You will only be able to discover the depths of who you are when you reclaim the parts of you that have been shamed and relegated to the shadows. Unshaming ourselves, and recovering our expression, is part of how we heal from the trauma of oppressive global cultures.

02.

COLLECTIVE LIBERATION

Our freedom is not individual, but collective. The role of the artist-magickian is to pursue as much freedom within their field of consciousness so that this ripples out into the collective. It is our responsibility to become our most powerful and embodied selves.

03.

PLEASURE

Our pleasure matters. Our eroticism is life-giving and it is the source of our deepest creativity. Pleasure is our orienting guide to aid birthing our most powerful creations into the world. I believe in healing through and with pleasure as a resource and that your pleasure matters.

MY WORK WOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT MY teaching LINEAGE

2023

Sleepover Mystery School

Initiated into a Hermetic and Existential Kink lineage with Carolyn Elliott.

This is also when I began my astrological studies.

trained by Carolyn Elliott to offer ceremony and magickal ritual.

2022

2021

the Embody Lab

Trained in Somatic Attachment Theory.

THE SOMATICA INSTITUTE

Trained in Character Strategies.

Graduated as an advanced practitioner from the Somatica Institute.

2020

aNCESTRAL initiation

Trained in ancestral lineage healing and underwent a 7 month process of initiation in the ngoma tradition.

somatica institute

Began training as a somatic sex and relationship coach.

Graduated with a ba in african history, mount holyoke college

My lineage also includes the work of artist-magicians throughout time;

Audre Lorde, bell hooks, Aleister Crowley and Pascal Beverly Randolph, as well as planetary deities that I work with: Jupiter, Venus, Mercury and all planets in our solar system. Finally, and most importantly, my lineage includes my ancestry. I was born to activist parents; with both of my parents devoting their lives to the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa. I was born into a community of change-makers; people who care about the world and have the bravery and heart to put that care into action. I come from a Pedi lineage on my fathers side and a European lineage on my mothers side. It is the alchemy of these two lineages that also gives me my strength, and makes me believe that healing is possible for all beings. I would not be able to do this work without my magickal, and blood, ancestors standing behind me.